Aug/Sept 2011

SAVING FACE OR SAVING GRACE?

There is Nothing to Lose but Your Ego 

It was an awful day at work!  Feeling picked on you overreacted to something your co-worker said to you.  Angry, you snapped at him with a cutting remark. Now you are struggling with this, trying to save your self.  This my friend, is a conflict of heart vs mind. 

Your heart wishes you to use Grace.  It wishes you to connect and to flow with the heart of your co-worker by apologizing for your cruel remarks.  Your mind wants to you to save Face. It would prefer that you do not appear weak in the eyes of another.  Your mind insists that you do not admit the mistake as yours.  It would prefer to look for its loophole, a way to maneuver the situation.  It may take days to chew on this before your mind can create a good enough story to look faultless, that not only fits but causes your co-worker to question himself.  It’s manipulative, but hey, it works – its how we save face, right?  But which face do we really save? The face of your heart?  Or the face of your ego?

We walk through life wearing blinders, unconscious of where we are putting our focus. We have been conditioned to focus on ego instead of the heart of the matter.  The ego sees many situations where it is most important to look good to someone else.  So we dance in and out of these encounters with the prime goal of saving the face of the ego. Misguided by mind are we, when we call ourselves "I".  We are speaking as an ego. Isn’t the reality of who we are, deep within our hearts?

Do we wish to save face?  Or save Grace?  God wishes to flow from within our hearts to the heart of another with openness and ease. That feels good!  Isn’t this how God manifests His love from within our hearts? Or do we wish to save this ego that stops any flow, creating separateness between us through achieving superiority or inferiority?  When someone wins, someone loses – in both instances it creates more ego and more separateness. Depending upon winning or losing, you feel better or worse about your self.  The “heart choice”, saving Grace, creates an opportunity for both hearts to flow with openness and without obstacles.

To feel our lives as God intended, we must live from within our hearts. Contrary to what your ego will tell you, your heart is your greatest strength.  When we are sick, or experience adversity, it is God within your heart that guides you to a peaceful and better place. If we let go of what is unreal – which is our ego – we allow the real to reveal itself. It is God within our hearts burning through the clouds in our lives who shows us “The Way”.

When we live from our hearts there is no armor of ego muting us or encasing us, trying to create a specific outcome in which to win or to make another lose.  Instead, we allow for God’s outcome.  And through the flow from one heart to another, there is unity and harmony of which He sits in the middle.  The parts of us we are most afraid to lose – our egos – are the parts of us that mute us from feeling alive.  To lose ego is to lose the part of you that is never satisfied.  It always wants more and never has enough. Letting go of ego is to live closer to our hearts, feeling our freedom, passion and joy.

So the next time you try to save face, choose instead to save Grace. There is nothing to lose but your ego.  Become conscious of the way the ego dances to protect itself through the stories you create.  Watch how far these stories can take you from the peace and truth within your heart.  A simple apology, a candid heartfelt remark instead of an ego-building sound byte – or perfect wise crack,  eases the flow of God.  God wishes to show His love through all of us – to manifest through our hearts to the world.  Let’s not get in the way! Open to the possibility that being heart-felt can be the answer we have been waiting for!  Unity and Peace.  We must be it, in order to see it!

Feel about it!

-Frannie Rose